Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Sugar Coating Only Backfires

So it has been a long time since there has been an update for us. In the 5yrs since Pip and Pop came into our lives a lot has happened, a lot that I cannot even put into words, Good, Great, Bad and Downright Hellish.

So a few truth bombs:

For anyone that took hope from our blogs, I am sorry we didnt delve deeper. I am sorry that we didnt give you a more forthright and regular update on just how life was and has been until now.

Please Please if you are considering Adoption, Permanent Care, or Long Term Fostering then PLEASE look into and get educated on RAD (Reactive Attachement Disorder), and for those of you that know they are coming from a Alcohol and Drug related background also look into FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder).

Do NOT enter into this without first knowing what could and will most-likely be a big part of your life and the lives of your family. Get informed not just as individuals but also extended family.

Make sure you have STRONG supports in place around you. Ones that will be there if you call for help at 2am in the morning. Ones that will sit and listen and offer to help rather than give you reasons they are to busy, or push the blame because they didnt take the time to read up on things.
Check out around you what services there are, find out from your CPS rep what there is around you so you are not chasing after leads that go no where.

Get the details of a Child Trauma trained Psychologist and or Psychiatrist for not only the child but also yourself and pray you dont need them.

Find yourself good training in Theraputic Parenting (Standard Parenting does not work for kids with trauma).  Check out the following links for some that have saved our sanity.

Get your hands on a Copy of When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting with RAD-Reactive Attachment Disorder - By Nancy L Thomas

And above anything else know that you are not to blame for the Trauma Damage that was caused before they came to you. Getting Applications in earlier, Seeking out different services, none of it would have made a difference because the kids that will come to you have to go through their own process before reaching your door.

The System INTERNATIONALLY is Broken.

And Be Brutally honest with people, dont sugar coat how things are let them know how tough it is, let your support system share in your joys and your sorrows, they need to see and hear both sides of the story not just the light and fluffy because you want to protect them.

And SELF CARE these two little words will save your sanity when applied properly. Take it, use it, and do not feel guilty. It becomes at times about self preservation. you are no good to anyone unless you look after yourself.

Next blog post will knock you off your seat and may even cause tears and shock so make sure you are sitting down with a box of tissues and your vice of choice, Chocolate works for me.

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