Sugar Coating Only Backfires

So it has been a long time since there has been an update for us. In the 5yrs since Pip and Pop came into our lives a lot has happened, a lot that I cannot even put into words, Good, Great, Bad and Downright Hellish.

So a few truth bombs:

For anyone that took hope from our blogs, I am sorry we didnt delve deeper. I am sorry that we didnt give you a more forthright and regular update on just how life was and has been until now.

Please Please if you are considering Adoption, Permanent Care, or Long Term Fostering then PLEASE look into and get educated on RAD (Reactive Attachement Disorder), and for those of you that know they are coming from a Alcohol and Drug related background also look into FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder).

Do NOT enter into this without first knowing what could and will most-likely be a big part of your life and the lives of your family. Get informed not just as individuals but also extended family.

Make sure you have STRONG supports in place around you. Ones that will be there if you call for help at 2am in the morning. Ones that will sit and listen and offer to help rather than give you reasons they are to busy, or push the blame because they didnt take the time to read up on things.
Check out around you what services there are, find out from your CPS rep what there is around you so you are not chasing after leads that go no where.

Get the details of a Child Trauma trained Psychologist and or Psychiatrist for not only the child but also yourself and pray you dont need them.

Find yourself good training in Theraputic Parenting (Standard Parenting does not work for kids with trauma).  Check out the following links for some that have saved our sanity.

http://christineparentcoaching.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/christinemoers
Get your hands on a Copy of When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting with RAD-Reactive Attachment Disorder - By Nancy L Thomas

And above anything else know that you are not to blame for the Trauma Damage that was caused before they came to you. Getting Applications in earlier, Seeking out different services, none of it would have made a difference because the kids that will come to you have to go through their own process before reaching your door.

The System INTERNATIONALLY is Broken.

And Be Brutally honest with people, dont sugar coat how things are let them know how tough it is, let your support system share in your joys and your sorrows, they need to see and hear both sides of the story not just the light and fluffy because you want to protect them.

And SELF CARE these two little words will save your sanity when applied properly. Take it, use it, and do not feel guilty. It becomes at times about self preservation. you are no good to anyone unless you look after yourself.

Next blog post will knock you off your seat and may even cause tears and shock so make sure you are sitting down with a box of tissues and your vice of choice, Chocolate works for me.

PC Order Granted and Big Journey Ahead.

Finally after all the waiting, after all the postponements the Permanent Care Order has been granted.
What this means for us as a family we can now just be a family. We can fill out forms and sign off as the parents and don't have to send it off for a department head to do so. We can get our kids hair cut without having to notify someone first.
we can move and live and breath like a normal family (even though no family is normal).
It is such a relief and a blessing to know that it is now final. The kids are both so excited because for them they now have a solid and strong knowledge that they have us forever. it is as much about their ownership over us that they now have, as it is about us being a family without question.

So for now we can start looking ahead into the future, in to trips out of the state, a home of our own and no longer a rental. and so many other blessings that were not open to us previously.

Thank you, each and every one of you for your prayerful and tangible support of the past years, it has been a long road but we finally got there.

One thing you all need to know is there is still more to come, these two are not the end of our family but the start of it, we plan on going through it all over again and growing our family bigger. the main reason for this is because we feel as a family that we want to be bigger, that others need to know and feel what it is to be in a permanent loving home where they need not fear, or worry about anything in the future. Where they can come into and learn to know and trust that they are somewhere with people who will love them forever.

so keep watching this space. I will be sharing some parenting things in the future, and will even be linking to some videos that I have decided to do on youtube to encourage others to do the same.

Much grace.

Kat

A year since the link.. where has the time gone..

We can't believe that in all honesty it has already been a year since the link was made to Pip and Pop, and we are also finding it hard to believe that is has been so long since and update.
Well here goes.
Life as parents to these precious treasures is a rollercoaster, a trampoline, and a YoYo but all those things are so fun and exciting, and scary at the same time and so is this..
Who could possibly see of understand just how much our life has grown and changed in this short year.
The kids are blossoming, they are loving having a Daddy for the first time, and we have just celebrated our first Christmas together as a family and I honestly don't know who was more excited about that.. us or the kids, or our families..
For anyone out there reading this, Don't think, don't question, don't second guess yourselves,.. This is without a doubt the singularly most terrifying and rewarding thing you could ever do in your life.. All the rest is just details..

realising how late it is I will just keep this one short, but Belated Merry Christmas and Belated Happy New Year to you all.

Love from us

The First 8 Months as a New Family.

I can honestly say this last 8 months have been some of the hardest and most rewarding and fulfilling time ever.
Our Instant little family has grown (literally the kids have both had growth spurts).
We are all settling into being together, loving each other, and learning to deal with a whole gambit of new things and emotions and situations.

But all truth be told I only wish we had gotten them sooner, for a number of selfish reasons for them and for us but I wouldn't change a thing.

these two precious little treasures have changed our life and changed our perspective on a number of different things and I am happy to say I will never be the same again.

Our life is full of mess, noise, giggles, tears, hugs, tantrums, truth, trust, and love and nothing could possibly be better than being parents, and the joy of being a mum even the instant kind has no equal.

Want to know more in-depth how things are going well sorry but I just cant say, each day is different, each situation uncharted, each joy greater than the last.

If you are contemplating becoming a parent through permanent care I can only say trust what your heart is telling you if it says to do it, then do it you wont look back.


Much love and grace to you all

Kat xx

FIRST EASTER

So its been 6 weeks now as parents and this is our First Easter where the mystery of the Easter Bunny has been able to start in our house.. and it was fantastic!!
These past weeks have been such a wirlwind with Kindy and School and all of lifes little joys and trials entertwined ..

Pip & Pop enjoyed their first family easter egg hunt and are still slowly munching their way through the treasures, and right now are having fun running around Granma and Grampas house playing.

The joy that overflows can not be expressed in these few short words but for those who are parents you will understand, and for those who are celebrating Easter and the blessing of Jesus Christ you will understand how interesting it is discussing it with Children, but we are facing the added discussions of why and who Jesus is with Pip & Pop who previously have had no faith impacting in their lives before coming into ours..

Anyway I am going to go run off and play tiggy with my kids now who are blowing away on harmonicas and enjoy the remains of the day catching up with other family as well..

Much love and grace to you all and a very Happy Easter to you all.

Kat xx

blog title changed yipeee... and where we are so far

So we are off and racing into parenthood..
Loving having Pip and Pop at home with us and finally being able to settle into family life which seems to be happening quite well so far.. I will not deny that the first week saw a number of issues surface quickly but we are both so glad that things have now calmed down..

We are both enjoying being parents and are treasuring every laugh and every tear as it comes like precious jewels.

So many things to try to express and yet no words can compare to the feelings and experiences, it really is quite unique..

much grace

xx

Transition

What a roller coaster of emotions these past almost 4 weeks have been..
From the initial transition planning meeting to - Meeting our precious Pip & Pop!
Spending time with them and getting to know there little likes and dislikes, and we are sure there will be more..
Hearing them call us Mummy and Daddy! this has a level of emotion that can not be quantified.
Laughing and crying with them.
and oh so much more....
it really is an inexplicable scenario to try to share..
And it is an experience that those that have gone through it would agree, no matter what they faced they would do it again.. because we all know as parents who cherish the lives entrusted to us,...
                                                     We would do anything for our kids.

(Kat) With the added emotion of my mum  passing in the second week it really has been a mixture of both great joy and great sadness..

As life moves along though we look forward to the end of the main part of the transition, the final hand over and those two precious angels coming into our home and lives forever..

its only a matter of days now before this takes place, and the anticipation surrounding this high.

we look forward to changing our blog title from I'm pregnant too...... to I was pregnant too...

Much love Kat